Liu Yuxi
Translated by江霞
A mountain gets fame not for its height,
but for its noble fairies.
A sea gets anima not for its depth,
but for its living beings.
My humble cottage achieves honor,despite its shabbiness,
for my decent qualities.
Emerald moss cover the stonesteps,
and green grass color my eyes.
I talk with the talented,
and associate without the unlearned.
Being far from the disturbing noise,
I play the plain musical instrument leisurely.
Getting rid of the exhausting document,
I enjoy the classic Buddhist Scripture carefreely.
There stands Zhu Geliang’s famous hut in Nan Yang,
and Yang Ziyun’s well-known pavilion in Xi Shu.
Considering this,even Confucius wonders,
“Why are these humble cottages not humble at all?”
The Appreciation of My Translation
Generally speaking, it is not easy to translate this Chinese classic poem into English. I find the 8th line the most difficult. How to arrange the sentence structure which includes two names of place within one sentence? And how to connect naturally this line with the former lines both in meaning and in form? I think and think, write and write, correct and correct,and finally, it is set down in plain English.( There stands Zhu Geliang’s famous hut in Nan Yang, and Yang Ziyun’s well-known pavilion in Xi Shu.)
As to other lines, they turn out to be just several sentences. Or, maybe I can say that they just possess the form of a poem, but lack the lingering charm. If I regard them as sentences, they are beautiful, but when they are combined together to form a poem, their external beauty is not enough.
Anyway, in my translation, there are still several words and sentences that I am satisfied with. Such as the parallel structure,the couplet lines,the rhetorical device I have used and the rhyme..
The first 3 lines,especially the first 2 lines, are parallel structures. “get...not for...but for...” is in accordance with the original version “不在...有...则...”. At first,I used “is famous” instead of “get fame”, then considering that “get” is more active than “is”, so I adopted “get” at last. A sea gets anima because of the creature living in it, the “龙” may refer to the creature in the water, so I choose “living beings” to replace “dragon”.In the 3rd line, I make a little change in words(using “achieve” rather than “get”) and in sentence structure to avoid prolixity. ( A mountain gets fame not for its height, but for its noble fairies. A sea gets anima not for its depth, but for its living beings. My humble cottage achieves honor,despite its shabbiness, for my decent qualities.)
I like the 4th and 5th lines best. They are couplet lines which are loyal to the original version and are full of rhetorical devices. Such as the alliteration used in “cover” and “color”; the consonance used in “moss” and “grass”,”steps” and “eyes”,”talented” and “unlearned”; and the antithesis in “with” and “without”, “talented” and “unlearned”. Many people explain “帘” as “竹帘”, while I think it refers to “眼帘”. The moss cover the stonesteps like a green carpet, and similarly, the green of the grass maps into the eyes, like painting our eyes with green color. I think this explanation is also reasonable.( Emerald moss cover the stonesteps, and green grass color my eyes. I talk with the talented, and associate without the unlearned.)
I mix together the 6th line and the 7th line when I translate as”无丝竹之乱耳,可以调素琴;无案牍之劳形,可以阅金经”, because these two lines are related to each other closely, and are something like reasons and results, which need to be mixed together. Again,these two lines are translated into parallel structure, started with two present participle phrases and ended with two adverbs.At first, my version of these two lines was, “Not being disturbed by the noisy sound,I...Not being exhausted by the secular document,I...”, then I thought it was strange to purposely make the structure the same, so I changed a little. Besides, the word “noise” is not suitable enough to express“丝竹之音”, and “document” is too modern to express “案牍”.( Being far from the disturbing noise, I play the plain musical instrument leisurely. Getting rid of the exhausting document, I enjoy the classic Buddhist Scripture carefreely.)
I interpret the last line “何陋之有?” as “何不陋?”. By doing so, I think it is easier to arouse readers’ resonance, and it is natural for us to think back to the 3rd line. “Why are these humble cottages not humble at all?” That is “for my decent qualities”.( Considering this,even Confucius wonders, “Why are these humble cottages not humble at all?”)
At last, I’d like to say something about the title “An Inscription of My Humble Cottage”. I did not change many times for the title,because I feel “inscription” and “humble cottage” are ok for “铭” and “陋室”.
An Epigraph in Praise of My Humble Home
Liu Yuxi
Translated by罗经国
A mountain needn't be high;
It is famous so long as there is a deity on it.
A lake needn't be deep;
It has supernatural power so long as there is a dragon in it.
My home is humble,
But it enjoys the fame of virtue so long as I am living in it.
The moss creeping onto the doorsteps turns them green.
The color of the grass reflected through the bamboo curtains turns the room blue.
Erudite scholars come in good spirits to talk with me,
And among my guests there is no unlearned common man.
In this humble room, I can enjoy playing my plainly decorated qin, or read the Buddhist Scriptures quietly,
Without the disturbance of the noisy that jar on the ears, or the solemn burden of reading official documents.
My humble home is like the thatched hut of Zhuge Liang of Nanyang, or the Pavilion Ziyun of Xishu.
Confucius once said: "How could we call a room humble as long as there is a virtuous man in it?"
A Brief Comparison Between My Translation and Professor Luo’s
After comparing my translation with this work translated by Professor Luo, I find that the words and expressions I use are too easy to convey the deep meanings of this poem. The most impressive line is the 8th line—“My humble home is like the thatched hut of Zhuge Liang of Nanyang, or the Pavilion Ziyun of Xishu.” Professor Luo adds some words(My humble home is like) to make this line closely and naturally related to the former lines, it’s amazing!
The first 3 lines, Professor Luo also applies parallelism, but his structures are more beautiful and his words are more accurate. Such as “needn't” “deity” “supernatural power” and “so long as”.
The 4th line is written under the imagination of Professor Luo, so that it is alive and picturesque. Readers can easily think of such picture in which there are stonesteps covered by green moss, and the green of the grass reflecting on the bamboo curtains colors the room..While my version lacks such imagination.
The 5th line, I think, is not so perfect. Though Professor Luo conveys the exact meaning, its language is plain and its form is not ordered beautifully. And the 6th and 7th lines adopt more accurate words than mine. “plainly decorated qin” is more specific than “plain musical instrument”, and I do not translate out the meaning of “jar on the ears”.
The last line is closer to the original meaning than mine, while I think my understanding of the last line is also admissible.
In a word, my version of translation lacks internal charm. The words and sentences are not elaborate enough to fully express the meaning. Since it is my first time to translate a Chinese classic poem, there are really lots of shortcomings which need to be improved.
08级外院3班
江霞
0805020131
周三下午第二大节课
附:网上另一翻译版本
山不在高,有仙则名。
Known will the hills be if fairies dwell, no matter high or low;
水不在深,有龙则灵。
and charmed will the waters be if dragons hidden, no matter deep or shallow.
斯是陋室,惟物德馨。
A humble abode though this is, my virtues make it smell sweet.
苔痕上阶绿,草色入帘青。
Verdant are the stonesteps overgrown with moss, and green seems the screen as the grass seen through it.
谈笑有鸿儒,往来无白丁。
I chat and laugh only with great scholars and have no intercourse with the ignorant.
可以调素琴,阅金经。
I can play lute and read my sutras;
无丝竹之乱耳,无案牍之劳形。
No unpleasant music to grate on my ears and no red-tape to make me weary and tired.
南阳诸葛庐,西蜀子云亭。
Just like Zhuge's residence in Nanyang and Ziyun's inhabitance in Xishu,
孔子云:“何陋之有?”
As Confucius quoth, "How could it be humble?" 下载本文