人物:T唐僧S:孙悟空 E:猪八戒 J:沙僧 B:白骨精
开场:Long long ago, there was a team went to Tian Zhu,there was a master called Xuanzang, there was a monkey called Wu Kong, there was a pig called Bajie, there was a monk called Sha Seng. On their trip…
T: Emitofo, do you know where we are now?
S: Bajie, map!
E: (摸出,递给S)
S: Look, boss (凑近T)………(T、S一齐转向E)
T: Bajie! How Many times I have told you, don’t bring these pictures of beautiful girls!
E: Oh, boss! Forgive me(伸手拿回)
T: (缩手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west
E: But……
T: Emitofo, nothing is sex, sex is nothing! Map?
E: (递)Here. Em…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain! Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow so I am hungry master.
S: Fat Pig!
E: Monkey, if you dare to say these two words once again, I will ,I will……….
S: You will what(凶相)?
E: I will eat you!.
S: Hm!
T:(轻咳)Wukong, actually, I am a bit hungry. Could you go to get me some food?
E: You see , boss is hungry, too!
T: Baijie! Don’t forget who ate my last meal!
J: But boss, if a monster comes while brother monkey is away…..
T: Em…….It is a problem .Wukong, do you have any idea?
S: No problem!(安装)(B已躲在一旁偷看)
J: This is…..?
S: Electric net! I have learnt the energy of electricity from boss’s books. So I made this. No monster can approach you if you stay in it!
T: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific! Emitofo, knowledge is power!
S: Bye!(走)
T: Let’s play cards!(三人开始打牌)音乐《斗地主》
B: Hm! Hm! Electric net? You are too childish.(变成B1)
B1: (接近三人,望着)Can I join you?
J: I’m sorry, lady. We are playing Fighting Against landowner and three people are enough.
B1: (在一旁观看)Oh, Chance! Bomb!
T: Bomb?(打出)
B1: Double King!
T: Oh….I win! Em……,Lady, you are a boss-hand. Come in and teach me!(准备开电网门)
S: (回来,看见B1)Oh, monster!(上前就打)
B1: (倒)Ah……
T: (气愤)Wukong! Look what have done! She is my teacher!
S: She is a monster!
T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)
S: Oh, please don’t……
T: It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the door…(泰坦尼克主题曲,走音离谱)
S: Please, Please, oh, no……(痛苦抱头)
T: (呛住,咳)Wukong, I’m disappointed with you!
B: (真身出现)Hm! Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a lesson!(变成太婆)
B2: Hello, have you seen my daughter?
T: Daughter?...(连忙挡住地尸体)No, sorry!(陪笑,B2想看后面是什么,T挡)
S: (咬牙切齿)You monster, I’ll beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后,S打,不想打到T头,T晕,S再打死B2)
E&J: Are you Ok, boss?(扶T)
J: Look,(伸食指)how many?
T: Two…..(晕乎乎地)Sun Wukong, game over!(变成B3)
B3: (看到B1,B2尸体)Oh…my daughter, my wife! Who did it?!!(哭喊)
S: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)
T: (想阻止,未及)You, you.....(险些晕,E,J扶住 )You have killed three lives!
S: No, they are not human beings! They are created by monster!
T: Monster? You are a real monster! Never let me see you, go go!!
S: (悲,离去)(音乐,营造 “假”悲伤气氛)《人鬼情未了》
J: boss, brother Monkey is.......
T: Don't mention that guy any more!
B: (出现) Ha ,ha, ha!(三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走)
T: (惊)You are......
B: How foolish you are , Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗,被击退)
B: (抓住T)I'll eat you, enjoy your meat and blood, ha, ha......
E: (呼天抢地状)Oh no! I am still a single man, where is my wife where is my true love I love you. (恍然大悟)Why don’t you be my wife Miss Baigu.
B: Crazy Pig! I will kill you!
J: Just wait, wait! Before you kill myboss, you should tell us who would have killed my boss.
B: Silly question! It’s me, of course!
J: Who is that “me”?
B: How do I know who are you! What do you mean on earth?
J: This will begin with the relationship between human being and the universe. Take
yourself for example, there is a problem bothering you all the time.
B: What’s the problem?
J: Who am I?
B: I’ve already known it!
J:No, you don’t know. Who are you? Are you Elf…Baigu? No, it is only a name, a
signal. You can be called Baigu, so can I, and so can they. When we take the signal
off, who are you?
B: I….I don’t know. But I don’t have to know!
J: Alright, answer me another question---who am I?
B: This question has been asked just now.
J: No, what I asked you just now is me, and this time, is myself!
B: Any difference?
J:For instance, when I take the use of signal “I” to make a dialogue, your signal is “I” too. Dose’t it mean that you are me and I am you?
B: This…this question is not worthy to answer!
J:Ok, let’s talk about some thing worthy. Where do I come from? When would I die? Why am I in the world? What is the significant for my coming to the world? Is that I
choose the world or the world chooses me?!
B: That’s enough!
J:Is there any essential relationship between the universe and I? Is there an edge for
the universe? Dose time have length? Where did the past time disappear? Where
dose the future stop? The question I’m asking now is the question you just heard?
B: Why don’t you kill me!
旁白:Finally, Ji Wuming hit himself on his head, fall to the floor.
T: I, I can't understand......What happened?
S: Boss, your IQ needs increasing!
T: Yes yes, knowledge is power. Let’s call Wukong back.
E:(掏出手机):hello, brother the master call you back.
悟空回归,唐僧道歉
T: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)(音乐响)《敢问路在何方》(这个放伴奏)
(谢幕)下载本文