1 The Ball-point Pen (圆珠笔)
One day a young mother was playing with her five-year-old son. Suddenly he grabbed her ball-point pen and swallowed it.
"Oh, no !" cried the woman. "We must find a doctor."
She took her son, ran out of the house, ran out of the house, put him in their car, and drove quickly to the nearest doctor's office. Taking her son by the hand, she rushed into the waiting room and shouted to the nurse, "I must see the doctor immediately."
"I'm sorry, " said the nurse calmly, "but the doctor is busy." "but the doctor is busy." "But nurse," she said, "please! My son just swallowed my ball---point pen!"
"Well, " said the nurse. "I'm terribly sorry, but you'll just have to use a pencil."
2.George Whshing and the Horse (乔治.华盛顿和马)
once a neighbour stole once of Washington's horse. Washington went a police to the neighbour's farm to get the horse, but the neighbour refused to the neighbour's farm to get the horse, but the neghbour refused to give the horse up; he claimed that it was his horse.
Whshington placed both of his hands over the eyes of the horse and said to the neighbour. "If this is your horse, then you must tell us in which eye he is blind."
"In the right eye!" the neighbour said.
Washington took his hand from the right eye of the horse and showed the police officer that the horse was not blind tn the right eye.
"Oh, I have made a mistake, " said the neighbour."he is blind in the lift eye."
Washington then showed that the horse was not blind in the lift eye either.
"I have made another mistske," said the neighbour.
"Yes, "said the police officer, "and you have also proven that the horse does not belong to you. You must return it to Mr. Washington."
3 He Understood (他懂了!)
Two Americans were travelling in spain.One moring they came into a little restaurant for lunch. They did not know Spanish, and their waiter did not know English. They wanted him to understand that they wanted some milk and sandwiches.
At first they pronouced the word "milk" many times. times. Then they spelled it. But the waiter could not understand them.
At last one of them took a piece of paper and began to draw a cow. He was finishing his drawing, when the waiter looked at it and ran out of the restaurant. "Do you see," said one of the travellers, "what a pencil can do for a man who has difficulties in a foreign country?"
The waiter was back again some time after, but he brought no milk.
He put down in front of the two men tickcts for a bullfight.
4.An Advertisement for modern bicycle (一则新式自行车广告)
Tom saw an advertisement in a newspaper for a beautilful mordern bicyle which cost 50, so he went to the shop which had put the advertisement in and asked to see one of their wonderful bicycles.
The shopkeepet was very happy to show one to Tom, who examined it carefully and and then turned to the shopkeeper, saying, "There isn't a lamp on this bicycle, but there was one on the bicycle in your advertisement." "Yes, sir," answered the shopkeeper, "but the lamp isn't uncluded in the price of the bicycle. It's an extra."
"Not included in the price of bicycle?" Tom said angrily, "But that's not honest. If the lamp's in the advertisement, it should have been inxluded in the price you gave there."
"Well, sir," answered the shopkeeper calmly, "there is a also a girl on the bicycle in our advertisement, but we don't supply one of them with the bicycle either."
5."Give" or "Take" (“给”还是“拿”)
One of Nasreddin's friends loved movey very much, and never gave anything to anybody. Soon he became rich.
One day, he was walking near the river with his friends when he slipped and fell in. His friends ran to help him, and one of them knelt on the groud, held out his hand and said, "Give me your hand, and I will pull you out." The rich man's head went under the water and then came up again, but he did not give his hand.Again another of his friends tried, but again the same thing happened.
Then Nastreddin said, "Take my hand and I will pull you out! " The rich man took his hand, and Nasreddin pulled him out of the water.
"You don't know our friend very well," he said to the others. "When you say "Give" tto him, he does nothing; but when you say "Take", he takes!"
6.Two plane Tickets (两张飞机票)
Let me tell you a story about bert and Mildred Bumgbridge, who used to be very forgeful. For ecample, Mildred would forget to cook dinner, or bert would show up for work on Sunday thinking it was Monday. One summer they were to take a long place trip. what do you suppose happened? Well, they got to the airportant with only minutes to spare. So time was short. In that situation anyone would board the plane right away. But not Mr. and Mrs. brmbridge. They just had to buy some flight insurance first.
After all, who knows what will happen on a plance on a plance flight? They quickly put some coins into a machine and out came their insurance policy," Who should get the money if we crash, I woulder?"
Asked Mildred "My mother, of coure," her husband replied. "We'll mail the policy to her. Now quick give me a stamp, will you?" he said."The place's going to take off in anther minute." Bertput the stamp on the envelop, dropped it in the mailbox, and suddenly began to cry. What happened, do you suppose? He had mailed their plane tickets to his mother
7.No time for Sighseening (没有时间游览)
Mr and Mrs smith had always spent their summer holidays in New Jersey in the past, staying in a small inn at the foot of a hill. One day , however, Mr Smith made a lot of money in his business, so they decide to go to London and stay at a really good hotel while they went touring around that famous city.
They flew to London and arrived at their hotel late one evening. They expected tha they would have to go to bed hungry, because in that small inn in New Jersey, no meals were served after seven. They were therfore surprised when they man who received them in the hall asked whether they would take dinner there that night.
"Are you still serving dinner?" asked Mr Smith.
"Yes, certainly, Sir," answered the man. "We serve it until half past nine."
"What are the times of meals then?" asked Mr Smith.
"Well, sir," ansered the man. "We serve breakfast from seven to half past eleven in the morning, lunch from tweleve to three in the afternoon. tea from four to five, and dinner from six to half past nice."
"But that hardly leaves any time for us to see the sights of London!" said Mr Smith.
8.A Thief on the Bus (汽车上的小偷)
Mr Smith gave his wife ten pounds for her birthday, ten pretty pound notes. So the day after her birthday, Mrs Smith went shopping. She pueued for a bus, got on and sat down next to an old lady. After a while, she noticed that old lady's handbag was open. Inside it she saw a wad of pound notes exactly like the one her husband bad given her. So she quickly looked it her own bag,--- the notes were gone! Mrs smith was sure that the old lady sitting next to her had stolen them. She thounght she would have to call the police, but, as she disliked making a fuss and getting people into trouble, she decided to take back the money from the old lady's handbag and say nothing more about it. She looked round the bus to make sure nobody was watching, then she carefully put her hand into the old lady's bag, took the notes and put them in her own bag.
When she got home that evening, she showed her husband the beautiful hat had bought.
"How did you pay for it?" he asked.
"With the money you gave me for my brithday, of course," she replied. "Oh? What's that ,then ?" he asked, as he pointed to a wad of ten pound notes on the table.
9.Beautiful Carpet (漂亮的毯子)
Mr. Payne was on hoilday. He was staying in a small desert town. One sunny morning he went to the market. and saw a beartiful carpet there. This one was big and full of rich colours. He looked at it for a long time, but went away. The next day he passed and saw it again. He asked the price.
"This one. Sir? This is a very special carpet," said the man.
"Yes, but how much is it?"
"It's very old, Sir. It belonged to a great man many years ago. So I can't sell it cheaply."
"No, how much is it?" Mr. Payne asked again.
"A beautiful, old carpet, Sir. And it is also a magic carpet. A magic flying carpet. A man came this moring and offered me five hundred pounds for it."
"Oh, " said Mr. Payne.
"But I like you, sir. You're a very nice gentleman. I'll sell it to you. Five hundred and fifty pounds."
"Humm," Mr. Payne thought for a moment. "All right."
"Very good, sir," said the man. "Will you pay now and take it with you?"
"No," said Mr. Payne. "Here's my adress. fly over on the carpet, and I'll pay you when you arrive."
10.The Dog Was Not Collected (牵错了狗)
Mr. and Mrs Brown were going abroad for their holiday. They had a dog called Blackie which they were very fond of , but they could not take him abroad with them, so they looked for a good place to leave him while they were away, and at last found a place which looked after dogs very well while their owners were away. They took blackie there just before they left for their hoiday, and sadly said goodbye to him.
At the end of their holiday, they got back to England very late at night. As they thought that the lace where Blackie was staying might be closed at that late hour, they decided to wait until the next moning befor going to get him.
So the next morning Mr. Brown got into his car and drove off happily to collect Blackie.
When he reached home with the dog, he said to his wife,"Do you know,dear, I don't think Blackie enjoyed his stay at that place very much. He barked all the way home in the car as if he wanted to tell me something."
Mrs Brown looked at the dog carefully and then answered. "You are quite right, dear, He was certainly trying to tell you something. But he wasn't trying to tell you that he hadn't enjoyed his stay at that place. He was only trying to tell you that he hadn't enjoyed his stay at that place. He was only trying to tell you you were oringing home the wrong dog."
11.The Foolish frog (愚蠢的青蛙)
Once upon a time a big, fat frog lived in a tiny shallow pond. He knew every plant and stone in it ,and he could swim across it easily. He was the biggest creature in the pond, so he was very important. When he croaked, the water snails listened politely, and the water beetles always swam behind him. He was very happy there.
One day, while he was catching files, a pretty dragon-fly passed by. "You're a very fine frog," she sang,but why don't you live in a bigger pond? Come to my pond. You'll find a lot of frogs there. You'll neet some fine fish, and you'll see the dangerous ducks. And you must see our lovely water-lilies. Life in a large pond is wonderful!"
"Perhaps it is rather dull here," thought the foolish frog. So he hopped after the dragon-dry.
But he didn't like the big, deep pond. It was full of stragne plants. The water snails were rude to him, and he was afraid of the ducks. The fish didn't like him, and he was the smallest froh there. He was lonely and unhappy.
He sat on a water-lily leaf and cuoaked sadly to himself. "I don't like it there. I think I'll go home tomorrow."
But a hungry heron flew down and swallwed him up for supper.
12.The Clever Servant (三个愿望)
Once upon a time, there lived a woodman and his wife. They were very poor, and they lived in a cottage on the edge of a forest. Every day, the woodman would set out early in the morning to chop down trees.
As the woodman was travelling through the foret one day, he saw a fine old oak tree. "That will make plenty of planks," he thought, as he felt the blade of his axe to make sure it was sharp. He was about to strike the with the axe, when he heard someone crying out:"Please don't hurt this tree."
The woodman looked around him and saw a tiny fairy. "If you do not hurt this tree," she said, "I will grant you and your wife three wishes."
"I won't hurt the tree," said the woodman kindly. Then the fairy vanished!
That evening, the woodman walked slowly home. He was feeling very hungry and could not wait for his supper.
"Is my supper ready?" the woodman asked his wife.
"Not for at least two hours," replied his wife. So the woodman sat in a chair by the fire.
"I wish I had a big sausage to eat right now," he said out loud. And suddenly, a delicious sausage appeared on the table before him! "Why has that sauaage sudddenly appeared?" the woodman's wife asked.
So the woodman told his wife the story about the fairy, But his wife was very angry. "You have wasted the first of our wishes ," she said croossly. "I wish that sausage were on you nose!"
And with that, the sauage jumped up and stuck fast on the woodman's nose. His wife could not pull it off and nor could he, so the only thing to do was to do was to wish it on the table again, which the woodman did.
What a waste of three wishes! The only thing the woodman had was a good supper of a big sausage.
13.The Friendly Neighbour (友好的邻居)
Mr and Mrs jones's flat full of boxes, big and small, trunks and furniture. The two of them were busy with pencils and paper, checking their list of luggage when there was a ring at the door.Mrs Jones went to open it ,and saw a well-dressed middle-aged lady outside. The ladys said that she lived in flat beside theirs, and that she had come to welcome them to their new home.
Mrs Jones invited her in.
"I hope you'll excuse us for all this mess, "said Mrs Jones. "we're trying…"
" Oh, that's quite all right," said the lady. "Do you know, in some parts of this town neighours are not at all friendly. There are some streets---and even some buiding--where people don't know their neighbours--not even their next-door ones. But in this building, everybody is friends with everybody else. We are one big, happy family. I'm sure you'll very happy here."
The lady was greatly surprised when she visitd the flat the next time, because she found a quite different man and woman in it. Mr and Mrs Jones had not had the heart to tell her that they were not the new owners of the flat, but the old owners, who had lived beside her for two years. All this time she had never visited them or even noticed them who were her next-door neighbours.
14.The Hero (英雄)
"Fire! Fire!" What tereible words to hear when one wakes up in a strange house in the middle of the night! It was a large, old, woodern house----the sort that burns beautifully----and my room was on the top floor. I jumped out of bed, opend the door and stepped out into the passage. It was full of thick smoke.
I began to run, but as I was still only half-and my room was on the top floor. I jumped out of bed, opend the door and stepped out into the passage. It was full of thick smoke.
I began to run, but as I was still only half-awake, instead of going towards the stairs I went in the opposite direction. The smoke grew thicker and I could see flames all aroud. The floor became hot under my bare feet. I found an open door and ran into a room to get to the window, But befor I could reach it, one of my feet caught in something soft and I fell down. The thing I had fallen over felt like a bundle of clothes, and I picked it up to protect my face from the smoke and heat. Just then the floor gave way under me and I crashed to the floor gave way under me and I crashed to the floor below with pieces of burning wood all around me.
I saw a flaming doorway in front, put the bunkle over my face and ran. My feet burned me terribly, but I got through. As I reached the cold air outside, my bundlelll of clothes gave a thin cry. I nearly dropped it in my surprise. Then I saw a crowd gathered in the street. A woman in a night dress and a borrowed man's coat screamed as she saw me and came running madly.
"My bady! My bady!" she cried. The crowd cheered wildly as she took the smoke---blackened bundle out of my arms. I had some difficulty in recognizing her. She was the Mayor's wife, and I bad saved her bady, I was a hero!
15.The Perfect Pearl (完美无瑕的珍珠)
An elegantly dressed man entered a famous jewelry shop one day. He explained that he wished to buy a pearl for his wife's birthday. The price didn't matter, since business had been particulary good for him that year. After examining a number of beautiful and expensive pearls, he chose an exquiste black one that cost $5,000. He paid for the gem in cash, shook hands with the jeweler, and left.
A few days later the man returned and said that his wife had liked the peral so much that she wanted another one just like it. It had to be exactly the same size and puality, as she wanted a pair of earrings made."Can you possibly give me any advice on how to get hold of such a pearl?" said the man. The jeweler regrefully relied,"I would say it's virtually impossible to find an exact drplicate of that pearl."
The milionaire insisted that the jeweler advertise in the newspaper, and offered$25,000 for the maching pearl.Many people ansered the ad, but nobody had a pearl that was just right. Just when the jewler had given up hope, a little old lady came into his store. To his amazement, she pulled the perfect pearl from her purse. "I don't like to part with it, " she said sadly. "I daid sadly. "I inherited it from my mother inherited it from my mother, and my mother inherited it from hers, But I really need the money."
The jeweler was quick to pay the old lady befor she changed her mind. Then he called the millionair's hotel to tell him the good news. The millionaire, however, was nowhere to be found.
why?
The "millionaire" and the old lady were thieves who worked together. The "duplicate" pearl that she sold to the jewler was actrally the same one the "millionaire" had bought.
16.The General and the Corporal (将军和下士)
Many years ago, there was a wise general who loved his soldiers and was very strict with them. One moring he was wearing a long overcoat over his uniform and went out for a walk. Passing among the sldiers who did not know who he was, he observed a group of soldiers building a low wall of stones. They were trying to raise a large stone to the top of the wall. The stone was so heavy that they couldn't quite raise it to the proper height. The corporal standing nearby commanded them to do the work again.
The soldiers did everything they could to lift the stone. They failed once more. The soldiers were really unable to do more for their strength was almost gone. But the corporal make them do again.
Seeing the stone was just about to fall at the time. the general ran up to give them the help that the help that the soldiers needed. It was with the general's help that they could lift the stone upon the wall. The soldiers thanked him very much, while the corporal gave him a look, still smoking.
"Why not help the soldiers with the heavy work?" the general asked the corporal.
"Why don't I help them?" said the man. "Don't you see that I am the corporal?"
"Oh, I beg your pardon, Mr. Corporal," said the general, unbuttoning his overcoat.
When he saw the uniform the uniform the very man was wearing, the corporal learned that it was the general himself. He was so prised that he couldn't say a word. And he understood what would happen.
The general pointed out his mistake and critcized him seriously. The corporal made an apology to the soldiers and was determined to do his duty.
17.Cover the shadow with Sand (用沙盖住影子)
The soldiers had just moved to the desert, and as they had never been in such a place befor, they had a lot to learn.
As there were no trees or buildings in the desert, it was, of course, very hard to hide their trucks from enemy. plance. The soldiers were therefore given training in camouflage, which means ways of covering something so that the enemy cannot see where it is. They were shown how to paint their trucks in irregular paterns with pale green, yellow, and brown paints, and then to cover them with nets to which they had tied small pieces of cloth.
The driver who had the biggest truck went to lot of trouble to camouflage it. He spent several hours painting it, preparing a net and searching for some heavy rocks with which to hold the net down. When it was all finished, he looked proudly at his work and then went off to have his lunch.
But when he came back to the truck after he had had his meal, he was surprised and worried to see that his cannot flage work was completely spoilt by the truck's shadow, which was growing longer and longer as the afternoon advanced. He stood looking at it, not knowing what to do about it.
Soon an officer arrived, and he too saw the shadow, of course.
"Well," he shouted to the poor driver, "what are you going to do about it? If an enemy plane comes over, the pilot will at once know that there is a truck there."
"I know, sir," answered the soldier.
"Well, don't just stand there doing nothing!" said the officer.
"What shall I do, sir?" asked the poor driver.
"Get your spake and throw some sand over the shadow, of couse!" answered the officer.
18.Everything Included (一切费用全包在内)
Ann stared work last summer, so she didn't have a holiday, She saved as much as she could and, in January, she booked a package trip to Ross, in Spain. She left London airport early on the morning of the first Saturday in August. She was very excited, as this was her first trip aborad. During the flight they had a snack, and when they arrived at Barcelojma airport, a special bus was ready to take them to their hotel in Rosas. The weather was beautiful and Ann enjoyed the bus trip.
At the hotel, she checked in, and then went to her room to change before dinner. She was just ready to go downstairs, when she found that her Spanish money wasn't in her handbag. She carefully looked in all her luggage, but she couldn't find it. All she had was a small purse with ten English pound notes in it!
Ann found a place to change her English money. She had very few pesetas, and she would be here for two weeks. On her way back to the hotel, Ann bought some cheese, some bread and some oranges. When she got back, she told the manager that her doctor had told her not to eat Spanish food; she'd just have breakfast each day. This was all right, as she knew the price of hotel included breakfast.
For the rest of her holiday, Ann swam in the hotel swimimgpool, or lay on the beach and got a suntan. She also went for long walks with one of the others went to interesting places, she always said she wasn't well. In fact, her holiday wasn't bad, except that she was always hungry. After all, a piece of fruit for lunch, and bread and cheese for supper isn't very much…especially not for two weeks!
Late in the afternoon of their last day, Ann and Jane were on the beach. Jane asked her why she never ate with them in the hotel restaurant. The food was excellent. Ann told her all about her money problem. Jane looked at her for a minrte, and then said, "But didn't you know? The price of this holiday includes absolutely everything!
19.Belling the Cat (系铃于猫)
Long ago, some mice had a meeting to consider what they could do to outwit their common enemy, the cat. They discussed the merits of many plans. At last a young mouse got out and said that he had a good solution to promble.
"You will agree,"he said, "that our greaest danger is the sly manner in which our enemy approach, we could easily escape from her.I suggest, therefore ,that a small bell tried around the neck of the cat. In this ways know when she is coming, and we can easily run away."
Everyone thought this was an excellent plan. At that moment an old mouse got up and said. "That is all very ,but who is going to bell the cat?" The mice looked at each other and nobody spoke. Then the old mouse said, "It is easy to suggest impossible solutions."
20.The General's Teeth (将军的牙齿)
Here is a story told about an American general who was a very important figure in the American army during the First World War. Everybody in the United States knew him and many people wished to have a picture or something of his in their homes.
Soon after the war the gineral returned to Washington. One day he went to a dentist and had six teeth pulled out. A week later the general heard that his teeth were being sold in curiosity shops at $ each. On each of the teeth there was a label with the name of the gineral and words:" Buy these teeth and show them to your friends at home." The general got angry. He rushed to his offifce and ordered six officers to go around the city and buy all his teeth.
The offecers went out and vissited every curiosity shop in the capital. They were away from the office all day. In the evening they returned and put on the table in front of the general the teeth they had bought. They had collected 175 teeth.
21.A Clever Interpreter (聪明的翻译)
A famous writer who was vistiting Japan was invited to have a lecture at a university to a large group of students. As most of them could not understand spoken English, he had to have an interpreter.
during his lecture he told an amusing story which went on for rather a long time. at last he stopped to allow the interpreter to translate it into Japanese, and was very surprised when the man did this in a few seconds, afteer which all the students laughed loudly.
After the lecture, the writer thanked the interprter for his good work and then said to him, "Now please tell me how you translated that long story of mine into such a short Japances one."
"I didn't tell the story at all, " the interpreter anwered with a smile. "I just said, "The honourable lecturer has just told a funny story. You will all laugh, please.
22.A Marvelous Idea (妙计)
A traveler stopped to observe the curious behavior of a farmer who was plowing his field. A single mule hitched to the plow was wearing blinders, and the farmer was yelling, "Giddyap, pete! Giddyap, Herb! Giddyap, Ol' Bill! Giddyap, jeb!"
After watching the farmer carry on like this for a while, the traveler asked, "Say, mister -----how many names does that mule have?"
"Just one ----his name is Pete."
" Then why do you call out Herb and Bill and-----"
"It's like this," explained the farmer. "If Ol'Peter knew he was doing all this work alone, I couldn't make him do it . But if he thinks he's got three other mules workin'alongside of him, he does he got back to his corporate office in New York, he invented the committee.
23.Modern Ways of Fighting (新式格斗)
Some young soldiers who had recintly joined the army were being trained in mordern ways of fighting, and one of the things they were shown was how an unarmed man could trick an armed enemy and take his weapon away from the other, using only his bare hands; and then he took a rifle away from him in the young soldiers to do these things themsleves, the two instructors asked them a number of questions to see how well they had understood what had been shown. One of the questions was this:"Well, you now know what an unarmed man can do agginst a man with a rifle. Now imagine that you are guarding a bridge at night and you have a rifle. Now imaginge that you are guarding a bridge at night and you have a rifle. Suddenly you see an unarmed enemy sodier coming towards you. What will you do?"
The young soldier who had answer this question thoungt carefully for a few seconds and then said, "Well, atfer what I have just seen, I think that the first thing I would be get rid of rid of my rifle as quickly as I could so that the unarmed army soliker couldn't take it from me and kill me with it.
24.Do as I Do (照我的办法去做)
One morning a young woman, who had recently lost her first post, was examining the advertisementsin the paper in search of other work. Suddenly she called out to her mother, who was in the kitchen.
Listen to this, Mother!" she cried. "I've found an easy way of making money."
"What is it ?" her mother asked, coming into the room.
"What is it?" her mother asked, comming into the room.
"Listen,"said the girl, and read the adverisement aloud:"Do you want to make money? Send me a postal order for five shillings, together with a stamped, addressed envelope. You will receive a reply showing you how to make hundreds fo punds with out leaving your house. Then there's a name and address."
"Nonsense!" said her mother. "You'll only lose shillings and the cost of a postal order and two stamps. If he knows how to do that, why doesn't he do it himself? Why does he need to advertise? You won't get an answer."
"Well, five shilings isn't much, " she said. "I can try." She went to the post office, bought a postal order, and sent it off.
Two or three days later she received an envelope with a small piece of paper in it . On the paper were four words:" Do as I do."
25.The Shortened Trousers (改短了的裤子)
A young man once went to town and bought himself a pair of trousers. When he got home, he went upstairs to his bedroom and put them on. He found that they were about two inches too long. He went downstairs, where his mother and two sisters were washing up the tea things in the ditchen. "There new trousers are too long," he said,"They need shortening by two inshes. Would one of you mind doing this for me ? His mother and sisters were buy and none of them said anything.
But as soon as his mother had finished washing up, she went quietly, upstaris to her son's bedroom and shortened the trousers by two inshes. She came downstairs without saying anything to her daughters. Laters on, after supper, the elder sister remebered her brother's trousers. She was a kind herated girl, so she went upstasirs quietly without saying to anything to anyone, and shortened the trousers by two inches. The younger sister went to the cinema, but when she came in she, too, remembered what her brother had said, so she ran upstairs with her scissors, needle, and thread, and took look on the young man's face when he put the trousers on the next morning
26.Honesty (诚实)
A man went to an insurance office to have his life insured. The manager of the office asked him how old his parents were when they died.
"Mother had a bad heart and died at the age of thirty. Father died of tubercuiosis when he was thirty five.
" I am very sorry," said the manger, "We cannot insure your life as your parents were not healthy."
As the man leaving the office, depressed, he met a clerk who had overheard the conversation.
"You must not be so frank and tell the truth," said the clerk, "No office will insure you if you speak like that ,Use your imagination a little."
The man went to another offic and was shown into the manger's room.
"Well, young man, how old were your parents when they died?"
"Mother was ninety--three and she died from a fall off her bicycle. Father was ninety-eight and he died while he was playing football."
27.A One Eyed Camel (独眼骆驼)
A mother camel walked with her son through the desert. They were looking for water and grass.
The son asked,"what do water and grass look like, mother?" She replied, "Water looks like the sky,bule and clear, while grass is green, fresh and nice."
After walking a day and a night, her son suddenly got excited and cried, "Look, mother, there's water and grass over there!"
"Foolish talk, child."
The water and grass were on the left, while the desert was on the right. Because the mother camel was blind in her left eye, she saw only a seaof yellow sand with her right eye.
After another day and night, the son camel found a second oasis, but his mother still did not believe him. She said angrily, "No, that's not an oasis. That's a desert. I've more dnowledge that you have, child. I'm not wrong."
Her son got angry. When he saw an oasis for the third time, he left hic mother without telling her. He ran to the grass and ate his fill. But his poor mother still walked on and on, hungry, thirsty and tired. What she saw through her right eye was the desert, the waterless and grassless desert, the waterless and grassless desert…
28.The Fox and the Crane (狐狸和仙鹤)
One day a fox met a crane. It will be fun to play a joke on the crane, though he. The fox asked the crane to come to his house for supper. The bird thanked the fox and they went together.
Now the fox had only thin soup to eat, and he put the soup in a flat soup plate. The crane was a tall bird.She had a long neck and a long bill, so he could not eat from a soup plate. She tried again and again to eat the soup, but she could not get any. The tricky fox watced the crane and laughed. It was easy to lick up the thin soup from the plate. He had all the soup and the crane went home hungry.
Then one day the crane met fox. This time she asked him to come to her house for supper. So the fox went to the crane's house. The crane had soup for supper too, but the soup was in a tall jar with a long neck. It was easy for the crane to put her bill into the jar, but the fox could not get at the soup. So the crane ate all her soup while the fox did not get a drop it, and the crane ate the fox's soup, too.
The crane taught the fox a good lesson. She paid the fox in his own coin. He had to run home to find something to eat.
29.A Greedy Fisherman (贪心的渔夫)
One day a fisherman called Ah Chong set out in his small boat. After reaching a good place he knew, he laid down his long line into the water, Befor he had finished laying it, however, it became very heavy. It seemed too heavy to be a fish. He began to draw in the line.
when the hooks began to come out of the water, he was quite surprlesed, for the hooks were holding the links of a heavy gold chin. When he pulled them into the boat more and more links appeared. Soon his boat was full of the shining links of the gold chain.
"I shall be rich," he said. "with money I shall buy a new fishing boat with an engine. I shall buy a big house.
He drew in more chain but he couldn't see the end of it. There was more and more of the heavy gold chain in the boat which sank lower in the water.
"I shall buy two big houses," he said. "I shall build a palace. I shall be rich as a king."
He was so greedy that he didn't notice what was happening to his boat. It was sinking lower and lower into the water. In the end Ah Chong was drowned. He lost the gold, his boat and his life.
30.The Clever Servant (聪明的仆人)
Long time ago, there was a rich old man who loved wine and good food over everything else. And he had a servant who loved drinking and eating as much as his master did. Each time the rich old man went out, he helped himself to the bottles of wine and all the nice food. Of course, the rich man knew who did it and was displeased. But he could do nothing about it because he had never caught his servant driking his wine and eating his food.
One day the old man was invited to dinner at the home of one of his friends. He did not know what to do with the wine, meat and chicken he had just bought. Ceartainly he could not leave them to the servant. In the end he had an idea. He called up the servant and said to him:" I'll be away for the whole evening, and I'll leave you to look after house. In the cupboard there are two bottles filled with poison. Be carefulabout it. You'll be killed if you take even a drop of it ,There is also some meat and chicken in the cupboard. Take care of them." With these words the rich man left home.
As soon as the master turned his back, the servant opened the cupboard and began to enjoy all the nice things in it. He emptied two bottles and ate up the meat, the chicken and everything else found in the cupboard. He was satisfied and soon fell asleep.
At midnight the rich old man retrrned home. He looked into the cupboard and, to his great suprise, all his wine and food were gone. He was mad with anger and called the servant up.
"Oh, Master," the servant began befor the old man could open his mouth. "while you were away, the neighbour's lack cat stole into our kitchen and ate up everthing in the cupboard. I knew you would be very angry with me. I was so afraid that I drand the two bottles fo poison to kill myself." There were even tears in the servant's eyes. "Oh, Master," he continred"Please don't get angry with a dying man. I'll soon be dead."
The rich old man, of course, did not bilieve a word of his story. But again, he could do nothing about it.
31.The Man Who Had No Friends (交不上朋友的人)
Edgar Wondered why he didn't have many friends. The reason was as always taking, never giving. People soon got tired of that.
One day Edgar told Bill, I'd like to give a party on Saturday. I'd to come and bring Martha, too."
"Thanks, Edgar. We'd be happy to come."
"Perhaps you'd be willing to bring your violin. You and Martha sing well together. I'm sure everyone will want you to sing for us."
"We'd glad to sing. We'll try to learn a few new songs between now and Saterday. We can start practising this evening ."
"Good! Don't forget to practise "you Are My Sunshine." That's the one I like best. I want you to be sure to sing that one."
That was how Edegar began to plan his party. Next he asked another fricends. Betty, to bring a cake. "You make the best cake in the world, Betty, and I prefer to eat your cake than have one from the bakery." Edgar invited several other friends to come to his party. He did not forget to ask something from each one of them.He even asked Jim and Mary Jacksons to let him give the party at their house! They agreed to let him.
32.The Golden Bridge (金门桥)
"Tomorrow we will see the Golden Gate Bridge," said Peter." said Peter, "I have never seen a golden bridge befor."
Peter's father smiled, but said nothing. Peter would soon see the bridge the next moring, his father took Peter to the bridge. Peter first saw it from far away. How big it looked! But then he saw something else. The bridge was red!
"The bridge isn't golden!" he said. "Why is it called the Golden Gate Bridge?"
"It isn't named for its color," said his father. "It is named for the Golden Gate."
"What is the Golden Gate?" asked Peter.
"A gate is either an opening, or the thing that closes the opening" said his father. "The Golden Gate is an opening," said his father. "The Golden Gate is an opening in the land. Water from the sea comes throgh this opening into San Francisco Bay."
"Oh," said Peter."And the bredge goes over the opening. But why is the opening called the Golden Gater?"
"Years ago men came to California to look for gold," his father said. "Many came by ship. They came into the bay through that opening. For then it was a gate to gold. They named it the Golden Gate."
33.The King and the Ffisherman (国王和渔夫)
Once there was a king who never ate a meal unless there was a dish of fish with it. But one day there was a big storm and the fishermen were not able to go out to catch fish, so the king had no breakfast and no lunch. Then he ordered his servants to tell everybody in his capital that if anyone brought him a fish, he would give him anthing that he asked for.
At last, a fisherman who was fishing from the shore with a hook and line caught a big fish and hurried to the king's castle with it. But the king's prime minister met him on his arrival and would not give him permission to go in until he promised to give him half of whatever the king gave him for the fish.
The king was very happy when he daw the fish, after his cooks had cooked it and he had eaten it, he said to the fisherman, "Now, what do you want for your fish?"
"I want you to beat me two dozen times with a rod," said the fisherman.
The king was very surprised, and argued with the fisherman, but in the end he said,"I promised faithfull to give you whatever you wanted, and I suppose that I keep my promise," so he began to hit the fisherman softly with the rod.
"No", said the fisherman, "hit me as hard as you can !"
After the king had hit him a doxen times, the fisherman jumped away and said, "That's enough for me. I promised the other dozen to your prime minister."
Again the king was very surprised, but the prime minister had to admit that the fisherman was right. The king not only gave him the dozen hits with the rod, but also said, "You will not be my prime minister any more. The fisherman will take your place."
34.The Bloody Thumb (带血的拇指)
I met the old man at a cafe in a strange town.
"Did you hear the radio news yesterday?" he asked.
"I didn't, " I said, " Was there anything exciting?"
"Exciting? No! It was very, very sad to me . A pack of hungry dogs killed and ate my best friend."
"Oh, dear!" I am sorry. How did it happen?"
"He was working in his oilve grove on the hillside when the packs attacked him. We'll never know all the facts, of course. When he didn't return, I went there and…"
"You found the body?" I asked.
"The body?" he repeated. "No, no. I said they were hugry dogs, didn't I? The bones were lying here in the grove. but I found this…" He pushed open a match box which he was holding in his hand.
The box contained a man's thumb. It was lying on some white, bloody material. There was a cut--an old cut--on the thumb nail.
"See that cut," the man said:" I recognized it, This is my friend's right thumb. The dogs ate the rest of him!"
The old man began to cry then. He finished his coffee quickly and left the cafe. I drank mine and called the waiter.
"I'll pay the gentleman's bill," I said."Please don't trouble him with it. His poor friend --- how awful!"
The waiter laughed. "Yes. There's a hole in the bottom of the matchbox. He puts his own thumb through the hole. The "blood"is red ink, I believe. Is the story worth a cup of coffer, sir?"
35.How Napoleon Crossed the Alps (拿破伦怎样翻越阿尔卑斯山)
About one hunderd and serenty years ago there lived a great general whose name was Napoleon Bonsparte. He was the leader of the French army; and France was at war with nearly all the countries around. He wanted very much to take his soldiers into Italy; but between France and Italy there are high mountains called the Apls, the tops of which are covered with snow.
"Is it possible to cross the Alps?" said Napoleon.
The men who had been sent to look at the passes over the mountains shook their heads.
Then one of them said,"It may be possible, but…"
"Let me hear no more," said Napolen. "Forward to Italy!"
People laughed at the thought of an army of an army of sixty thousand men crossing the Alps when there was no read. But Napoleon waited only to see that everything was in good order, and then he gave the order to march.
The long line of sodiers and horses and cannon stretched for twenty miles. When they came to a steep place where there seemed to be no way to go futher, the trumpets sounded "Charge!" Then every man did his best, and the whole army moved right forward.
Soon they were safe over the Alps. In four days they were marching on the plain of the plain of Italy.
"The man who has made has made up his mind to win," said Napoleon, "Will never say:" Impossible."
36.Take Care of Your Handbag (小心您的手提袋)
This is a ture story. When you read it, try to remember it. If you are a woman, it can happen to you.
A woman called Mrs. Carter was buying some things in a big shop in London.
She bought a dress and coat, and one or two other things. After that, she went to another part of the shop to have something to eat. She sat at a table with another woman and put her handbag on the floor by her chair.Soon, she and the other woman started to talk. Then the other woman got up to go. Her handbag fell on to the floor, and Mrs. Carter took it up and gave it to her. Then the other woman went away.
Mrs. Carter finished eating, and put her hand down to get her handbag. It was not there.
Poor Mrs. Carter was very troubled. She looked under the table, and on the floor, and under the chair, but the bag was not there.
The shop-keeper came to help her.
"I am very sorry," he said, "This is a bad thing to happen in my shop. I will let you have some money to get back to your home."
"Thank you,"said Mrs. Carter."I don't know what to say Mr.Carter. There was still some money in the bag. I had to do more shopping this afternoon. I still want some more things. Now I can't get them."
"Mr. Carter will let you have some more money," said the shopkeeper.
"I don't know," said Mrs. Carter. " We are not very rich, and there are a lot of things to pay for in a house."
She left the shop and went sadly home. When she got there, she had to go to the people in the next house and ask them to help to get into her house. Her door key was in her handbag, and Mrs, Carter got into the house that way.
Later on, Mr. Garter came home. She told him the story and he was very angry.
"Why don't you take care of your handbag?" he said. "You must never put it on the floor. The woman at the table took it. She made you look at something else, then she took it. Now all that money is gone. I can't give you any more. I have other things to pay for."
"I'll tell the shop not to send my dress or my coat," said Mrs. Carter. "I'll ask them to take them back. That will help."
Poor woman, she was very unhappy.
The next morning she was working in her house and she heard the telephone. She answered it and a man spoke.
"Are you Mrs. Carter?" he said.
"Yes," she said, "I am Mrs. Carter."
"This is Dickens and Edgar speaking," said the man."We have found your handbag. Someone has left it at the shop, in a box. We don't know anything about it. They left the box this morning and went away quickly."
"Oh! that is good news," said Mrs. Carter."I am glad. I was very troubled about it. Is the money still there?"
"Yes," said the man. "Everything is still there, just as you told us. A woman stole it, then she was sorry and brought it back today. Will you come and get it, please?"
"Oh! yes," said Mrs. Carter. "I'll come as soon as can. I have one or two things to do first, but I'll leave the house in about an hour from now."
"That will do very well," said the man. "We will see you later."
Mrs. Cater was very happy. She telephoned to Mr. Carter to tell him the god news, but he was out. He had to see a man about some work in another place. Another man spoke to her and told her this.
"It doesn't matter," said Mrs. Cartter. "This is Mr Carter's wife speaking. I have found my handbag. Someone took it back to the shop. I'm going to get it now. Will you tell him that, please?"
"Yes,"said the man, "I'll tell him." He'll be very pleased to hear it."
Mrs.Carter finished her work and went out. She went to the shop,and up to the same room. The shop keeper came to speak to her.
"I've come to get my handbag,"said Mrs. Curter.
"Your handbag?" said the shop-keeper."You said so.Someone brought it this morning."
"But it is!" said Mrs. Carter."You said so. Someone brought it this morning."
"I'm very sorry," said the man,"but I never said that, I haven't spoken to you today."
"But you telephoned me, " said poor Mrs. Carter,"this morning."
"No one telephoned you from this shop this morning, " he answered.
"And my bag isn't here?" she said.
"No one telephoned you from this shop this morning," he answered.
"And my bag isn't here?" she said.
"No, I'm afraid not," said the man.
"But who teleponed me?" said Mrs. Darter.
"Was it a man or a woman?" asked the shop-keeper.
"A man," she answered.
"He was a friens of the woman at your table," said the man." "You must go back to your house very quickly. I will telephone the police and ask a policeman to meet you there."
Poor Mrs. Carter's handbag was the name of the house and the street. Also the door-key.下载本文